i dance forever in your romance

2006-06-01T13:46:00.000+08:00

finally! our retreat pics!!

our first morning - with our morning glories.

hey!! who turn on the lights?! grrr..

oh yum!! cereals with milk! i love~~
-----

and after the mornings bible session..

thanksgivings to our prayer ICs!!
toothbrush holders to remind you to always brush your teeth before praying.

she ran off to catch up on her sleep.

and because we learn to love cause Christ first loved us.
we showed it by joining her!!

at the playground!

ok guys..lets head back for our next session! awww
-----

dinner time at a nearby zhi cah stall..

is that all??

the three smackers

the Thorns'n'Roses

2006-06-01T13:06:00.000+08:00

warrior or worrier?

i have been much more of a worrier recently.
i worry so much its causing me to feel so sick.
causing me to dislike life once again when its suppose to be purposeful,
as i keep dwellin within my problems.

So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries.
Today's trouble is enough for today.
所以，不要为明天忧虑，因为明天自有明天的忧虑；一天的难处一天当就够了。
Matthew 6:34 NLT
馬太福音 6:34 CUV

lord..help me to keep my eyes on you and not worry anymore about issues which are trival in Your sight.
You have help me to get thru so far till now, teach me to totally lean and trust in You.
even though its so sooooo hard..
please help me to remember constantly that You are indeed always in control.
take me under Your wings now Lord.

O Lord, you alone are my hope. I've trusted you, O Lord, from childhood.
主 ─ 耶和华啊，你是我所盼望的；从我年幼，你是我所倚靠的。
Psalm 71:5 NLT
詩篇 71 CUV

2006-05-27T17:25:00.000+08:00

have you ever taken someone you really loved for granted?
someone that you know you hurt so very badly?
and eventually lost that very person?

you never talk since that particular day but you wish you can make up for what you had done so badly.
but you never got to see that person again.
it's as though he just vanished from earth.
and you still move on with your own life.

i finally saw him today from far.
how i wish i dared reach out but den again, i know its not possible cause he might not even wana look at me.
and i do not have the courage to go forth.
i did a really terrible thing but though i know i am forgiven by God when i finally acknowlege my sin, i still want to know if i am forgiven by him.
its been almost 3 years but whenever i think of this,
it weighs me down like tons of stones - stones of shame and guilt.
the deep sense of regret.
a wound that reopen and never seem to healed, though it did when i prayed for mercy.
this is how i feel when i think and take away my broken toy i gave to God for repair.
i have to always pray for God to take it away from me again before i feel that inner peace.

somehow, i always hope one day i can finally make this right and tell him how i feel all this time.
that i have changed and is no longer the same as the past.
but who knows..it is highly possible that things might have been done in His way already that i could not see.

2006-05-27T14:30:00.000+08:00

got this flash from a friend
its so cool yet cute at the same time.
about the DaVinci Code..in a typical singaporean way la.
by the way its one of my most favourite book!
anyway this link's really good for those who have read the book or watched the movie BUT not yet know and believe The Truth!
ok la..now lets enjoy the clip hor..

http://www.syfc.org.sg/events/dvc/cinema.html

2006-05-23T20:38:00.000+08:00

weeeeee..i'm BACK! from outer space..lalala.
neh..from retreat rather.
and it was pretty fun..and relaxing.
worship, bible studies, eat-outs and slacky entertainment.
its so nice to be in a huge room with friends you like with you.
sharing beds+rooms. playing. watchin horrors+comedies, laughing, screaming and hiding behind pillows like a family is one of the coolest and heart warming thing we can ever have.
it was even better when we have to struggle to concentrate together during bible study bcos next door was singing Hokkien oldies the entire 2 nights.
imagine pasa malam as your immediate neighbour.
it was quite a torture but we pulled thru by combating with worship songs!muhahahahhaaa..
draggin ourselves to go for church service was another torture for me cos we have to wake by 6.45am!! ARGH!!
i slept again on the mrt from Pasir Ris to Commonwealth.
the whole world noes i am not a morning person.
but i still love retreats. hehehe..
but besides the fun..we learnt many things on how to listen to God, talk to God and listen for God - which! is the main purpose for this retreat. yea!!

i cant wait for the pics to be emailed to us so that i can upload some of our activities.
hope i look good!! hahahhaa..the nerdy side of me yet again.

jy, i seriously think that IF we are really gona take up that ic thingy.
we should organise a lazer challenge, paint version and propose our next retreat on a cruise!!

2006-05-18T14:02:00.000+08:00

ok..i called Cody.
guess what he said!
"you have to gimmi some time! about 2 to 3 weeks before you can have the results!"

alright.
Y.Y.M.Y. ..bad girl making a bad name. hmm..
i feel so caught in the middle between them.
and i do have a waiting agony after all.
looks like i have to continue holdin on to
Romans 12-12 TIGhtly.

Be glad for all God is planning for you. Be patient in trouble, and always be prayerful.

patience..OOOommm

2006-05-17T16:27:00.000+08:00

jus returned from the interview at LaSalle-SIA.
and she said tomorrow i can call for the results!! yippie!!
no long-waiting-in-agony-torture.

things dun look too good though and feeling kinda sian, but i can still manage.
i had to wait for an hour half +++ jus to be interviewed.
there was another lady that came after me also to be interviewed.
we had to display our work together and she had a file full of her works!!*narrow-eyed*
the lecturer was apparently upset with me because i brought only 10 pieces.
but the 'Cody' at the admin side told me to jus bring 10!!!
so it appears as though i was lying. I DID NOT!!
sigh.
nevermind..God knows. and the website did say so too!!

i must have offended 'Cody' perviously somewhere someway somehow.
i duno how he looks like though.
first..he did not tell me who to look for, he only said to look for him.
so i ended there lookin for 'Cody'. wrong person!!
HE!! is from the admin..i am suppose to look for Suhan.
and then..he told me to bring only 10 pieces!! when i can actually bring all my works to show off my talent.
and tml i am suppose to call C O D Y for my application results.
grrrrr..*breathe*
he must be a NICE guy.
all things happen for a purpose. lets guess what.

anyway Suhan didn't seem to think my 10 pieces is enuff to satisfy her or meet her standards.
but its over anyway..jus have to wait for the results which is in God's hands i believe.
He is the one who holds the control over all things.

the verse of the day from Air1 hit me just as i turn its station on, on my pc.
it answers the doubt within me.

Be glad for all God is planning for you. Be patient in trouble, and always be prayerful.
Romans 12-12 NLT

alil faith in God can do wonders.

2006-05-09T16:06:00.000+08:00

i did not tell my mom my interest in working with kids.
i did not tell my mom how difficult it is for me go into a teaching course bcos i have no 'O' nor 'A' Levels.
i did not tell her about The Dream i had.
and i did not tell her that i was kana gona give up going towards that.
all she knew was i volunteered into the Children's Ministry in our church,
and i seem to be hopping around senselessly this days.
and that i did tell her i might go into teaching some time ago.
and that i quitted my job!!
i was thinking i will jus continue studyin, gettin a degree in Interior Design.
and a year later, work..
meanwhile taking private 'O's and then finally when the time is right, try teaching again.
since i cant do it now..
by then, i might have alrdy lost the motivation.

it is too much of a coincidence when she passed me a newspaper cutting.
she has never tried to "inject" ideas of what she want me to be.
from 'N' levels to Poly,
she has always left me to decide what my career will be.
amazingly, God seem to have worked thru her and prompt her to show me the cutting.
and asked me to look at this school that offers child psychology.

the text that attract me was in red,
"for Fresh 'O' and 'N' Level Graduates"

s p e e c h l e s s, i was.
i laughed.
"mummy, why did u pass me this?"
"duno..i happen to see this and i thought of passing to you." XD~

i called to enquire and he said, because i have a Diploma.
as long as i passed my 'N' levels english i can apply!
i was like "are you sure" that kind of feeling~
but..cool!! not bad..
to be honest, ive never look at this option before.
psychology? was something that i find interesting but thought i can never make it.
*shrug*

he has invited me to go down to tell me more about the course and to check out a class.
i don't wana count the chickens before they hatch.
and i do not have the money anyway..
but i thought i can jus drop by to have a look.
im sooooooo free anyway.
so why not?? its harmless! hee!
i might be amazed by His works yet again.

thanks guys for praying so much for His direction for me.
i hope i continue to have a sensitivity to listen =)
and mayb he can path a way for $$ to come in?
hahahhaaa..

2006-05-09T10:40:00.000+08:00

arrrrrrgh!!
its all too fast!
i jus sent my application yesterday!
and this morning..i woke up..
still in dreamy wonderland..
lasalle called to say that they wana interview me nx wed!!
when he told me 'lasalle'..i was like..'huh?wat lasalle?'
thank goodness i did not say it out.
hehehehe..

arrrrggh!!!!!
i still duno which 10 pieces to choose!!
ok..right now i have a headache.
over anxious..
*breathe!!*
i have exactly 1 full week to work on it before going.
i feel lika ant in a frying pan.
arrrrrrgh!
i wana get iiiiiiiiiiiinn!!

2006-05-08T14:21:00.000+08:00

ok..right now my "low" mood is on the..high?
i jus do not feel like meeting anyone.
jus wana be alone, hidin at home.
but generally im ok..ya?
im jus..in solitude =) ya..

taking real small steps at a time.
i had jus submitted an application to LaSalle for a 1-year Interior Design degree course.
hmm..i have to wait for them to call me for an interview to present my qualification papers as well as 10 pieces of my work.
hmm..10 pieces..i duno which to choose from my previous works or how to come up with new ones that will be to their liking or..you noe~ impress them.
now that im no longer working, i can focus my time on my creativity yet again.
jus pray i haven lost touch by all the drafting this one year.
its obvious i did not plan well.
i did not look at the other opportunities when i applied for NUS,
cos i jus blindly thought its by default i should jus apply t h e r e.
so silly. so dumb.
m i s t a k e s .
else i wouldn have missed the chance of applyin into NAFA.
but anyway..
i hope that my application to LaSalle is a favourable one.hmm!
i jus wana get a degree and do designing works!!
no more drafting!!
jus hope i can fulfill this one dream before going into anything else.
but if i really cant get in..
den i jus have to find another job, this time in an interior firm so that it can help polish me up and den i'll see if i can apply for degree again nx year.
won't look for any drafting works anymore.
i had enuff.hee..
pleeeeeeease!! lalalasalle...lemme get iiiiiiiiiinn!!~

painting a picture is easy,
making it real is a challenge.
i hope i am not jus painting a beautiful picture.

2006-05-06T13:31:00.000+08:00

this song is beautiful. so beautiful.
hope i can find d mp3 soon!
its a reminder and prompting for us all!!

the world is watching us from a distance
wanting more from their own existence
tell me how do we make a difference for eternity
does anybody want to know why we're alive?
oh oh oh oh
what's the purpose of this life?
oh oh oh oh
before i die and i leave the world behind
i want to know why i'm alive
you're created for the creator to live inside
there's a hole in your soul and i know that you try
to fill it with every little thing but the very one who can heal it
and bring hope to a world that wants to know why they're alive
spirit cry for this generation
we're chasing the wind trying to embrace it
open our eyes to all the lies that we try to justify when deep down inside
all we want to find is someone that loves us all of the time and it's you
yea it's you oh oh
only you
yea it's you oh oh oh
you're beautiful came down from heaven just to save my save my soul
beautiful oh oh oh oh oh
you're so beautiful
the people of this world are praising you and they are
beautiful oh oh oh oh
you're so beautiful came down from heaven just save my save my save my soul
beautiful oh oh oh oh oh
now i am beautiful you've made me so beautiful
now we're so beautiful

Paul Wright - You're Beautiful

2006-04-30T00:15:00.000+08:00

this is a reminder to myself too,
that though you may be feeling really low..
with heavy judgments on you,
brokenhearted by the person you looked up to.
have faith in the Lord, that He IS in control.
things will be better!
you may still feel all the hurt inside and you perservered to keep what you believe have been pleasing to Him.
i may cry, i may think abt it then dismiss it, i may feel pain.
but i pray i will continue to cling on to His promise as he heals my wounds and not be stumbled by what she said,
and look at the pretty side of the whole situation instead. yes!
though she will not show me love, care and concern anymore. its ok.
because! Lord! i know you still loves me and You will never change.
i know! and i believe!!!!!!!!

2006-04-27T20:59:00.000+08:00

am i old?
am i gona have wrinkles soon?
is my forehead printed 'going hagged'? sobx.

den why is so many people asking me to marry?!?!
i DO NOT HAVE A BOYFRIEND!!!
so i cant marry!!
i cant have kids!!
UGH!!!!!!
i a m s i n g l e~~ok.. *winkwink*

*breathe* if u wana ask *breathe* u shld ask *breathe* if i have a boyfriend *breathe* first right?*breathe breathe breathe*

my colleagues tease me everyday because they are all married, most with kids.
i can accept. i faint in office half the time.
at least when new guys come to our office, they will survey for me. not bad right.
i jus have to breathe harder with an oxygen tank beside me maybe.hahahhhaa..
but my heart pumps harder when my ex classmates, even those who are not married yet!
ask me to marry! veri funny hor..grrr.
scratch you! *meow!*

i have not found my rib cage ok..
or rather..my rib cage has not found his missing rib bone (me la! who else!) duh~uh!!

like ZT say..maybe i shld stamp on my head.
maybe stamp "UNWANTED". heh..
my face's not big enuff to stamp "single and available".
ha ha ha ha ha!! cold joke.

2006-04-26T11:30:00.000+08:00

to answer all who ask me wat i really wish to have this birthday.
i will appreciate whatever you guys will give.
its really not important.
though i'd love to have a pair of hermit crabs.
*wink wink*

2006-04-25T23:21:00.000+08:00

ha..my personal DNA report.

2006-04-25T21:22:00.000+08:00

i tendered my resignation yesterday.
i started to feel bad already.
but it seemed ok..
jus that i seemed to have spoilt her mood. her day.
she did not laugh even once.
and did not wana talk to anyone.
which is...veri abnormal.
but she did talk to me veri motherly yet again, like in the past.
i miss that. but i know its different this time.
and apparently..today, she seem to be avoiding me.
avoid eye contact. avoid being near me.
she did not speak a word to me at all today.
she look upset and downcast.
it does seem that i am veri thickskin to think that is because of me.
but i do feel for her.
and i did do something.whatever!

and my supervisor talked to me face to face asking me to reconsider.
that if i wana further study or anything, i can still work here and study part time.
cos its a more practical way.
rather den to jus dump myself to do that veri thing that may not have progress at all.
i love workin with her.
she is the most sincere architect or even jus as a person, ive work with.

my senior..worse. ugh! speechless.
i think she love making me feeling guilty.
probably she thinks she's not successful because of my straight face.
but she's good at it man..
i did not wana answer alot of her questions. sigh.

sigh, this 2 weeks will be a fight within myself.

2006-04-23T23:21:00.000+08:00

too heavenly for earthly use?
thats the phrase my boss used on me.
i do not feel good at all.
she sets off the ??? in my head because she is a christian too.
she shld understand that i am jus tryin to do my best.
following Him can oni help us, nothing negative!

what will happen when we all finally have to be kneel before God with Jesus pleading our case
and God says:
"sorry, u are too earthly for Heaven's use"?
my heart will jus stop and shatter.again after being dead~if i can (=.=)

24"Make every effort to enter through the narrow door, because many, I tell you, will try to enter and will not be able to. 25 Once the owner of the house gets up and closes the door, you will stand outside knocking and pleading, 'Sir, open the door for us.'
"But he will answer, 'I don't know you or where you come from.'
26"Then you will say, 'We ate and drank with you, and you taught in our streets.'
27"But he will reply, 'I don't know you or where you come from. Away from me, all you evildoers!'
Luke 13:22-28

i fear what God says much much more.
i fear not being able to go thru that Narrow Door.

i shared with my bud about this and she reminded me of Romans 14.
its a pretty long passage to have it here so do click on it to read.heee..
its good to have hyperlinks so that i dun have to flood here.
anyway..i duno how to talk to my boss abt this cos i noe she will get so offended,
but i do hope she will understand someday..before The Day.
i do not judge her but i do feel alot for her, God knows. so ya..
please pray for her too.

2006-04-22T14:21:00.000+08:00

found this faith test on http://www.jesusforlife.net
while looking for materials for bible study later.
food for thought!

Imagine that each line of the following list represents a card.

Imagine you are about to die,
and you need to chose the card(s) that you need for salvation.
Which card(s) will you pick and hold close to your breast as you die?

you have been baptised
you are a loyal member of the Church
you love God
you love your neighbour
you have been keeping the Ten Commandments
you have been receiving the sacraments, especially Holy Communion
you believe
you have prayed
you have done good works
you are about to die in a state of grace

The purpose of this test is to show you what you are trusting in
for your eternal salvation.
The Bible teaches that there is only one correct answer -

I believe that Jesus died on the cross for me.

yeap!! for US!! YOU & ME.
its all about God's goodness.

"I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all men to myself."
John 12:32 (niv)

are you touched? or is your heart still harden?

2006-04-22T10:27:00.000+08:00

a friend forwarded a tickle test link.
thought it was pretty fun.
so just try it out.

Your lucky charm is a Four-leaf Clover!

i do love clovers by the way.
they look so lovely. esp in this pic.hehehe..
i love nature!!

2006-04-21T19:18:00.000+08:00

yeah!
gona smash-start this blog with a testimony of mine.
guess it will be more meaningful, and pray it helps my friends to understand better why i have chosen to "retake" this path even after being backtrack for so long.
it is something not easy to share abt but i know it will make a difference.
this is my revival. wahahaha

here goes:

I grew up in a Christian primary and secondary school, and I learnt at a very young age of God's love for me. But even knowing how precious I am in His sight, I still felt unimportant and over conscious of how others think of me. I was not well liked and I tried to get as much attention by doing naughty things. Teachers complained to my parents and one even asked if I had a mental disorder. my teachers were really mean.

At 11 years old, I got to know a very good friend. The first true friend since my school days and she brought me to Sunday School. I was happy at first because I saw familiar faces. Most of them were schoolmates, and I thought I found somewhere I belong. But slowly, I could not seem to fit in. I could not communicate with them, I was afraid and felt uncomfortable. So, finally I stop going.

For 5 years, my Christian life was considered still. Going through difficult situations in life was very hard. I have fallen many times, and sometimes I gave up because I could not take it anymore, I hurt the people who love me. Though I always wonder why God allows so many trails, I do not blame Him because I know He is with me all the time. He sends people (Christians & non-Christians) as reminders to encourage me. I learnt that I can never live without God. Even when I keep rejecting His Ways, He still allows me turn back to Him.

A year ago, a friend taught me a lot about Christian living with his own life. God had worked in him to become a totally different person. He was a living example of God's grace and I was drawn closer to God through his life testimony. From then, I committed my life back to God, went back to Church and to my Sunday School class. I decided to help spread His Good News and change myself for His Glory because of His deep love for me.

Life is not problem free now, but because I am learning to give it all to Christ. He carries me though my problems and it is easier to live day by day.

My challenge to you my friends, christians or not.
Are you willing to learn giving up your troubles to Christ too?
Are you willing to accept/reaccept Christ in your life?

i am really thankful for my pcm (pastoral care ministry) friends, most were my sunday school "classmates".
they have been really supportive and encouraging all this time since i was back.
i am really blessed to have you torns'n'roses.